Love is My DUI
by Intense Innocence
Summary: Ever been so drunk on something other than alcohol? Heh, it can happen. Apparently. Kai X Rei.


_Disclaimer_: I do not own Beyblade, or any of the characters. And with good reason.

_Warnings_: Boy thinking of Boy. Rei X Kai pairing. Don't like it? I'm sorry.

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**Love is My D.U.I**

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"Please state your name, age, and gender."

Ever been so drunk on something other than alcohol?

"Rei Kon. Seventeen. Male."

Heh, it can happen. Apparently.

The night started out normal enough. Driving down the street, feeling the wind in my hair, enjoying the nice cool breeze as it whips me in the face, and watching those dueling flashes of crimson and turquoise in my rear view mirror, All of these only make me think more of _him_.

"Oh, hi officer, is there a problem in this wonderful, beautiful world?"

_That_ right there, is probably the number one reason I'm sitting in a jail cell at this very moment. But hm, I'm not sure, there could be others.

"Driving under the Influence. License and registration."

"Couldn't you at least say 'please' and I'm not drunk. hehehe"

Giggling isn't the best thing to do at a time like this, as I've learned.

"_Please _step out of the vehicle, ma'am."

Well at least he said please that time… hey, Wait. A. Minute, did he just… yep.

"But I'm not…"

The nerve of some people. I think this cop's just a huge stereotype. He thinks I'm a_ girl_ because of my long hair, _sheesh_. AND I am NOT drunk for goodness sake!

"Kindly remove yourself from your car before I have to do it for you."

Hey, buster, I could punch your lights out if I wanted to. I'm sure I could, after all the training and exercise for competitions I go through, it's got to give _something_ back, right? But don't worry, I didn't hit the poor officer…hard.

Okay, fine, I hit him. Punched him right in the nose, _hope I broke it too,_ heh. Well, I had a good reason to… as soon as I got out of the car he has me walk on some neon colored strip of tape on the ground. Tch. IF the guy could even put the tape down straight it would be - -A lot - - easier, even for a sober person walking _that_ crooked line would be a challenge. I mean, I would know, I AM sober after all.

Except all this thinking of straight lines reminds of how _un-_straight I actually am, which has me thinking of Kai, _again, _and in my dreamy state I had somehow managed to put one foot in front of the other and walk all the way to the other end of the shiny line on the pavement.

Problem #1: I guess my feet didn't exactly stay anywhere near the actual line I was supposed to be walking on.

Problem #2: Well, you can probably guess that this only correctly confirmed what the officer had incorrectly suspected.

Anyways, by this time the cop had somehow restrained me, trying to handcuff my hands behind my back. I _was_ trying to stay calm, but the idiot dropped the stupid handcuffs and he wound up bent over picking up his little metal rings, and that just didn't fly. He totally twisted my arm in a way I didn't know it was possible to bend, so I tried to pull away. He took it as "disruptive" behavior and stood up so fast that his elbow took a non-too-gentle dive against an area that is pretty darn sensitive on a guy.

I hissed in pain, and he looked at me oddly holding my lower abdomen, and do you know what he had the nerve to ask right then?

"Sorry sweetie, you're not pregnant are you?"

_That_ was it. Not only does he assume that I'm a girl, but did he actually _think _I looked _pregnant?_ For crying out loud! I'm NOT fat. He turned to face me waiting for an answer, and…

That's when I hit him. Poor guy never even saw it coming.

"I'm a _guy_, dumbass!"

Okay, probably another one of my not so bright ideas. Swearing at a cop _after _pounding him in the face, err, most likely not one of the best mixes that could have happened.

After that he sort of just stood there, and do you know what I did? Heh, took the handcuffs out of his bloody hand caused from his even bloodier nose… and I slapped them on me, myself.

No use fighting the inevitable, right?

After that I was sort of shoved into the backseat of the patrol car, and rolling down the road, three sharp left turns later and he decides he _needs_ to pull into some random market place and get some ice for his swollen face. His glare set on me the entire time, mind you it wasn't even my fault, I mean he _is_ the one who pulled me over in the first place, and he's the one that thinks I'm just some lying drunk driver.

I take offense to that, you know. I have _never_ touched a drop of alcohol in my life, not even at parties or show events. I'm totally "under-age" and everything, and it just smells gross. I've never gotten a speeding ticket, never parked illegally, and I'm certainly no bully. This guy just rubs me the wrong way…

So anyways, he leaves me sitting in a locked police car, windows half way down, and hands cuffed together, while he goes la-la-ing into "Grocery World" to get a bag of ice, leaving me completely vulnerable to the passers in the parking lot.

This is incredibly boring, I really didn't know it took so long to go and grab one little thing. With my luck he's probably the type of patroller who likes to sit down, have a few rounds of coffee, and eat chocolate cake donuts for a better portion of the night. So I look around this snazzy little detaining device.

Cop cars are psychotic, there's this little caged gate thingy in front of me, and I can see my reflection in the rear view mirror. I grin a little, might as well make the best of a bad situation, right? The locks on the doors must be child-proof or something, because I can't figure out which button to press or twist to even begin to open it. The seat-belt is _tight_, and feels so darn restraining that breathing might become a struggle.

This isn't very fun, so I take a look out the tinted glass window, I can see over the top half in real color, then sink down to look through the dimmed part. Heh, that's kind of cool.

There really are strange characters out after the sun goes down, and you'd think that they'd leave a police car completely alone. Wrong. Three thugs walk up to the car, and start looking it up and down, their eyes as shifty as their movements.

Oh dear heavens above, please don't let him speak to me… and…

"Hey sweet thing, wanna unlock one a' those doors for us?"

God, just send a bolt of lightning down upon me, it'd be easier on us both.

Okay either that guy's queer or he _also_ thinks that I'm a chick. And hell no, I'm not unlocking the stupid door for _you_, even IF I could.

I seem to be having such a great night so far, so I think, 'what would Kai do?' At a moment like this, which Kai would probably be far too wise to get involved in, but with a 1.5 chance that he was, he _might_ flip this jerk off. Chances are slim and outcome's a bit iffy, but I really wanted to do it anyways. So, that's what I did, I raised my middle finger high, and thrust it right in his face. All three of them started laughing so hard that the only thing I could do was blush in humiliation.

Then our old buddy the Sherriff shows up, hollering so loud I can't even put the words he's shouting together in a single sentence, and—Oh… Shoot, is that a … a _gun_?!

He has a gun pointed at the guy, which is also pointed at me since Mr. Thuggie is standing right in front of me. His hands go up, and mine _want_ to go up, but I'm frozen stiff.

My eyes are stuck on the guy in front of me, and the sharp pointy object in his back pocket that his hand had somehow reached down to get. I've never heard a real gun being fired anywhere other than on television, and wow, it's freakin' loud! I squeak as the bullet soars over our heads.

I don't remember much of what happened after that. The guy sort of flung his knife thingy and there was a whole bunch of swearing, and yelling, and then the guy tried to run away and the cop did this flip-and-twist move and jumped right on him. It was exciting, it really was… and it seemed so unreal that I actually did begin to question if I really was drunk or not. Well, all's well that ends well.

For the rest of the ride I forced myself to squish as close to the door as possible… because there was a psychotic gangster seated right next to me.

The world is cruel and unusual.

"You couldn't just open the door, could ya?"

I kept my lips firmly shut, choosing to look out the tightly rolled up window, not having the will or guts to answer _that_ question.

"Ya' know if you weren't so pretty I'd probably pound you right here an' now."

Oh gosh, thank goodness I left my hair down today!! Thank Tyson for picking out my feminine attire that I'm currently wearing, Thank Maxie for letting me laugh this morning, and Thank Kai for being the best example I know for giving people the cold shoulder.

That was _the_ longest car ride of my entire life. Really it was. I think we turned around like seven times, I can't be sure, I stopped counting after the fourth… yeah…Mr. Brains was definitely driving. And now this stinks, I've never been to jail before, but it looks really, well, ugly. The stone bricks are dirty and scummy, and it's awfully smelly; probably matching most of the people inside this place. Err, that was rude, but honestly each jail cell I'm lead past makes me want to turn tail and run for the hills.

They took me away into some big metal doors and into a room that looked like a big box with a glass window. The cop that brought me here and the robber thug guy went down some other hallway and well, good riddance if I ever see them again. Anyways, they asked me a whole bunch of questions which were pretty easy to answer, then made me stand on some footprint shaped marks on the ground and snapped some photos of me, and I didn't even care if they got my good side or not. Right now I actually feel really out of it. A bit scared, I can't really explain it, but I just really want to go home, to where the world isn't psychotic and I can actually understand what is going on.

If only a little bit.

"Alright, Mr. Kon, you get _one_ phone call, so make it count."

One phone call. Finally! I don't even really think about it as I dial the three-plus-seven digits that are programmed into my mind, and I'm silenced by the reverberating rings on the other end.

- _Ring_ - -

Please Answer.

- _Ring - -_

I seem to have forgotten how to breathe.

_-Ring - -_

Please answer. Come on, be home for once. _Please _answer. "Hello?" YES! You answered, you really answered! I seriously love you.

"Kai, it's me."

"Rei?"

"Yep, um, are you busy?"

"Why do you ask? Rei, where are you?"

"Twenty-two South and Main."

"…What?"

"I'm in jail, Kai." I say this ashamedly, because I feel like a fool, Kai's probably _pissed_.

"Oh hell, Rei… are you okay?"

Well he actually doesn't sound too angry, he sounds more tired or worried. Kai, you're the greatest.

"Perfectly fine."

Heh, now I just have to beg him to come and rescue me.

"Good. Just wait right there, I'll be down to get you in a few minutes."

Oh, or not, he's just _that_ amazing.

"Thank you."

"Mm-hmm. Later."

- click - -

I'm grinning so wide, it hurts. Now all I have to do is wait. It won't be long… hopefully. The jail cell they gave me is pretty small, but at least it's all to myself. I watch the clock ticking aimlessly on the wall, and let my golden eyes explore the security guard sitting at his desk a few yards in front of me. There's a metal bat on the floor near a trashcan by his chair, and a submarine sandwich placed in front of the submarine shaped man.

I snicker a little and his eyes flash quickly towards me, aimed like a bullet. Creepy. Kai, please hurry… waiting is like the worst part of anything. Waiting in line to ride the scariest roller coaster in an amusement park; for the ten whole minutes of previews in a cinema before the premier; for the top of uncooked pancake batter to start bubbling once it hits the skillet; for the mail to come on a rainy day; for a stupid paper cut to stop bleeding! Arg, patience _is _a virtue, however long one's patience may last…

"Hn, a DUI, huh?" Talking suddenly echoes from around the corner and I'm bathed with the glorious sight that I've grown to love so much. Slate grey hair, two-toned of course, steel sculpted abs, wonderful crimson-colored eyes that are such a mystery to me, and that familiar mesmerizing smirk.

"Kai!"

Kai finally spots me, coming over to stand in front of the hideous metal bars, and all I want to do is give him the biggest hug of his life. The security guard finally opens the big prison door, and for the first time that night, I finally got to get one thing I really wanted; to make Kai my new teddy bear. Seeing him _and_ touching him makes my heart thump erratically, and he gives me a once-over.

"Rei, what in the world, are you really drunk?"

"Drunk on you."

Kai gave me this cute little puzzled expression that made my knees go weak, and he was forced to hold me up, since I was clinging to him like some sort of bubble wrap.

"Okay Rei, okay. Let's go home, thank you officer."

Kai held me close the entire time, and we were finally out of that awful place, and once outside he leads me to his car, helps me climb in, forced the seat belt over my head and comes so close that I can feel his soft breath on my deprived lips.

"So, honestly, how many have you had?"

"…"

Why do I feel like no one believes me?

I'm not drunk on alcohol/whiskey/rum or beer…but I _am_ drunk… on love. Drunk on Kai.

Love, is my DUI.

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**End.**

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Okay, yeah, I've never been arrested and I've never been in a jail cell, so forgive me if most of this information is false. I was just playing around with the idea. Anyways, Rei has a thing for Kai in this fic, I hope that was clear, and hope it was okay. They could be together, but it doesn't have to be that way. OOC-ness is probably throughout the entire thing, so forgive it. :

Well, I loved the title and ending lines, and that's what I wrote first, everything else I had added later. It sounds completely choppy and not very flowing, in my opinion, but I _needed_ to write this. Just doing quick one-shots before I post anything of my other story. And it's finally summer! --big wonderful smiles, and cookies & lemonade for you all!-- )

Hope you enjoyed


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